November 26, 2008

Finally Done my Internship!!!

I finally finished my internship today!! I have been working on my masters degree in school counseling for 2 1/2 years and today was my last day as an intern! I still have a ton of work to do for my class and to finish up little things for my program. But it feels so nice to be able to say that I'm done with the big part! I can't believe that I'll have a masters degree in just a couple weeks....and I'll be a REAL school counselor! Hmmm....That's a little scary! :) I guess I need to get started on updating my resume and applying for jobs!

November 23, 2008

Can't Wait for Thanksgiving!

I can't wait for Thanksgiving! We go to 3 different places: both of my hubby's grandparent's homes and then my moms! We are always so stuffed by the end of the day that I feel like a giant blob, but that's the best part! I am really looking forward to seeing some of our extended family members that we haven't seen in awhile and getting to catch up. And of course all of the yummy food, especially the pumpkin pie, my favorite!!

And according to the quiz I took on, I'm just like Thanksgiving stuffing!

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?
You Are The Stuffing

You Are The Stuffing
You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together.
People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

November 22, 2008

The First Snow!

Our first snow of the season fell this week. Here in western Maryland snow is something that we take for granted. Sometimes, we even dread it. But when I saw the look my 4 year olds face as he watched the snow fall from the sky I remembered how much I loved the snow when I was younger. I would be so excited when it finally started to snow! I would gather all of my snow gear: boots, gloves, scarf, hat, extra clothes, snow suit and sled. Then I'd sit at the back door and anxiously wait as the snow took forever to pile up high enough for me to go and play in it. The best snows were the ones that started really early, so that as soon as you woke up you could go outside.

When I was in 4th grade my parents relocated our family from Maryland to Tulsa, Oklahoma....where it never snowed!! We had "ice days" out in Oklahoma. If there was just a flurry of snow we'd go crazy! I can only remember having two snows that were good enough to make a small snowman with during the 4 years that we lived there. When we moved back to Maryland, I was ecstatic when I saw the first snow fall that year. It was beautiful.

As I got older the snow stopped meaning as much. I guess I got bitter. And getting stuck in my house alone during one bad winter while I was a sophomore in college didn't help. But earlier this week when I saw my son it took me back. I remembered how wonderful it was. Another day this week while I was at my internship, at a local elementary school, it began to snow, hard. I was walking down the back hall of our school and got to see 2 of our new students, both Spanish speaking students from different countries.... countries that didn't get snow. They were walking outside just long enough to let the tiny little snowflakes fall on their faces. They had the biggest smiles I have ever seen on their little faces. It was then that I realized how much we take for granted. It's so obvious to see the big things that we take for granted: our safe neighborhoods, yummy food, a warm bed, wonderful family and irreplaceable friends. But it's as easy to recognize the little gifts from God, such as our healthy children, and snow that we take for granted as well. I know that I have learned to take a step back and look at all the precious things around me, big and small.

November 21, 2008

Giving up a dream

So I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that my third (and most likely my last) baby will be another boy. Wow....3 boys!! My friends, especially the ones without any kids, think I'm crazy! But I love my boys!! They are my life! But I still can't shake the horrible feeling I get in my gut and the tears that come to my eyes whenever I see little girl shoes or hear my best friend talking about her baby girl that is due a week before my little boy.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of being a mom. I dreamed of having a little baby to carry around, push in a stroller and give a bottle to. I also dreamed of that baby being a little girl, one that I could buy little princess dresses for and pull her hair back into pigtails with little pink bows. All these years I never even considered that I may never be the mother of a little girl.

Now, before you go thinking that I'm a horrible mom and that I don't love my boys, let me just make one thing very clear. I do love my boys with all my heart. I couldn't imagine my life without them! And I am so excited to be having another boy. Seriously, how many moms can say that they are the proud mom to 3 active little boys! I don't love my boys any less and wouldn't trade them for the world.

With that said, I'm not upset that this baby is a boy, I'm crushed that I have to give up my dream that I've had since I was a little girl. My dream of picking up little pink bows and putting them neatly away in a white wicker basket and tripping over a clear plastic shoe with glitter all over it on my way to the kitchen.

I am slowly starting to feel better, but I wonder if I will ever fully be able to give up my dream. I know that we can try again, or we could adopt. And maybe once this little guys comes I won't want a little girl. Maybe my dream will be forgotten. I doubt it, but maybe. For now I'm just going to go and sort through my pile of baby girl clothes that I've collected over recent months to give to my friend for her little girl. And I'll cry, but that's ok. Tears are ok. Right?

November 15, 2008

Baby #3!

We found out on Wednesday, November 12th that our 3rd (and last) baby will be another boy!

The baby is doing great and everything looked perfect in the sonogram. Little Man still wants a baby sister, but has decided that a brother is ok, too......just as long as we don't send Jellybean back!! :) Little Man also wants to name this baby Robin Hood. I personally like Noah Tyler much better!

We are still due on April 4, 2009 so I have quite a ways to go yet. I am so thankful that the baby is healthy, a little disappointed that I'll never get a baby girl, but I know I'm blessed to have 3 beautiful, healthy babies no matter what their gender is! The baby was very active during the sonogram, which makes me a little nervous about how hyper this one is going to be! He kept putting his head back, as if to say "What is going on out there?!" And at one point he was putting his hand up like he was waving. Another time he had his hands up like he was trying to plug his ears!!