July 30, 2009

Big Decison.... What to do, What to do?

At the beginning of the summer I started interviewing for local school counseling positions in my county, 3 to be exact. When I didn't get any of the jobs I started getting used to the thought of being home with my boys for another year.

Then last week I got a call to interview for another, unexpected opening at the county's alternative school. I decided to go and see what it entailed. After the interview I had mixed feelings. In a way I thought it would be nice to have a job, any job. And I thought that it wouldn't be so bad working with these challenging kids. But I still thought I had a slim chance of getting the job.

Well, today I was told by 2 counselors which I interned with that I had unofficially gotten the job. Now I just need to be approved by the school board! Yikes! Now don't get me wrong, I know that in this economy I should be thankful for anything that comes my way. But I'm not. I'm torn between going back to work and staying home with my kids just another year. It's so much harder than I thought it would be!

I don't have child care. I have nothing to wear. My poor baby has no milk stored. I feel like a mess! Ugh! Oh, and did I mention that the new teacher academy starts next Monday. So I'd likely be called one day and asked to start the next.

It is such a big decision and I'm scared to tell my husband because I know he'll just tell me to buck up and take the job. Maybe I should. Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted with my decision!